FIC: God Rest Ye Miserable Gentlemen - Albus/Scorpius

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Title: God Rest Ye Miserable Gentlemen
Creator: briony_tallis
Prompt Number: 41
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/characters: Albus/Scorpius, Rose
Warnings/content: Highlight to read *Some mild adult language, slash*
Word count: 4285
Summary: Rose Weasley is filled with Christmas cheer...unfortunately.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. All works posted at this community were created entirely for fun without making any profit. No copyright infringement is intended.



"Well, how do I look?" Albus spread his arms in demonstration, turning around in a circle with a pained expression on his face. "It's miserable, isn't it?" His parents had more Galleons than they could count, and still Albus had somehow ended up with the most hideous dress robes ever invented. He didn't see why he had to dress up for the Christmas feast, anyway. Most of the Hogwarts students had gone home for the holidays, so it seemed pointless to make a big deal out of the feast. But apparently one of Al's namesake Headmasters had loved Christmas parties, and it was supposed to be some kind of tribute to keep them going year after year. Albus hated being named after Headmasters, and he quite forgot why he'd volunteered to stay in school for the holiday at all.

Scorpius grinned at him, and Al remembered. "Oh, yes, utter misery," Scorpius said. He stepped forward and tugged at Al's tie, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I suspect you'll be hanging yourself within the hour."

"I knew it," Albus moaned, trying hard not to think about Scorpius's close proximity. It was nearly impossible. "I'll be laughed at."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "I'm joking. You look fine. In fact," and now there was something predatory in his gaze, something that made Al swallow hard with a sudden attack of Scorpius-related anxiety. "You're making me want to give you my Christmas present early."

"Oh, yeah? What's that, then? I could probably use a present, you know, to cheer me up." Al tried to smile, but found himself far too nervous, and he probably looked like an idiot with some sort of half-twisted nauseous expression on his face.

Scorpius didn't seem to notice his discomfort. "I wasn't sure what to get you this year, Albus, and so I decided to do something I've always wanted, instead." Scorpius seemed to be moving ever closer to Albus, though Al thought perhaps he was only imagining it.

It was so easy to imagine, too, as Albus had been dreaming of something like this for ages now, far longer than he cared to remember. It seemed he'd always been in love with Scorpius, and the vision of Scorpius standing so close to him and touching his face was always in the back of Al's mind. Except that it had never felt so real as at this moment, when Scorpius really had to be touching his cheek. Albus had never felt so warm and sweaty and sick. "What you wanted?" He was finding it hard to speak, though he pushed forward so as not to scare Scorpius away from him. "That's not exactly how gift-giving works, Scorpius."

"I think you'll like it all the same." Scorpius smirked. "Or at least, I really hope so, because this is going to be incredibly awkward if you don't."

"Awkward?" Al's voice squeaked. "How could it be awkward?"

Scorpius laughed quietly. "I didn't think so," he said, and his lips were so close now, his warm breath on Al's skin, and Albus shut his eyes tight and prayed that this wasn't just a dream.

Scorpius pressed his lips very carefully to Al's in a searing kiss, causing Albus to moan and collapse against his best friend, his hands gripping Scorpius's shoulders in a desperate attempt to keep himself from melting to the floor. Scorpius gasped into the kiss and pulled Albus tighter to his chest. Albus was burning, he was dying, and his dress robes were far too tight. At the touch of Scorpius's tongue to his lips, he was sure that this was the greatest moment of his life. Then suddenly the door burst open in a flash of cold wind and it was over.

"Merlin's arse!" Scorpius shouted, his usually pale face flushed a deep shade of pink. "You've got to knock before you come banging in here!"

"It's only me," said Rose, Al's cousin and the last person on earth Albus wanted in his dorm room just then. "Are you guys excited?"

Albus gulped and quickly placed his hands over his midsection. "What?"

"I said, aren't you excited? It's Christmas!" Rose grinned at Albus and ruffled his hair. "The holiday season, the most wonderful time of the year! You must be excited."

Scorpius was laughing under his breath, which was not helping Al calm down in the slightest. "You came all the way up here just to tell us it's Christmas?" Al demanded. "We're not entirely trolls, I promise. We do know what time of year it is."

"Obviously," Rose replied. "I'm just so happy it's finally here, and you two were taking forever to come down." She looked the both of them over, and a small frown crossed her face. "What is going on up here, anyway? You look weird, the pair of you."

"No," Scorpius said, throwing an arm around Al's shoulders. Al winced at the contact, as the memory of their last touch was still burning in the front of his mind. "We were only laughing at Al's dress robes."

"You look cute," Rose said. "Now come on, let's go! I've got a lot of decorating to do."

"Decorating?" Albus did not like the sound of that.

"For the party, of course! Don't you remember?" And Al did remember, unfortunately. Rose Weasley adored Christmas, and she'd held a holiday party in her common room every year since starting Hogwarts, and Al and Scorpius had always been invited. Which had all been well and good in years past, but now all Albus wanted to do for Christmas was lie in his own bed and snog the last bit of warmth out of his best friend. Rose was still talking, ignoring Al's heavy sigh of disappointment. "...and colored streamers, and the lights, of course. This year I've finally mastered a spell to keep those pesky fairies in place. No more fake lights at my holiday party, right, guys?"

Scorpius looked more than slightly annoyed. "I'm sure it's going to be grand," he said dryly.

Rose gave him a withering stare. "You really need some Christmas spirit, Malfoy," she said, before turning on her heel and leaving. "You'll see," she called over her shoulder. "I'll have the both of you singing carols yet!" She poked her head quickly back into the room. "And don't forget to wear your best. Al, you can leave that on." She winked and disappeared.

Al really liked his cousin, but she could be painfully oblivious sometimes. It had to be Uncle Ron's genes.

"Well, bugger this," Scorpius said, pushing past Albus as he followed Rose out the door. "We'll be late for the feast if we don't leave now, and I'm not going to attract attention by showing up late. Professor Longbottom loves any excuse to torment me."

"He doesn't hate you," Al replied, with a long-suffering sigh. This was an argument they'd had before. Al partially suspected that Scorpius had brought it up again on purpose, in an attempt to diffuse the awkward spirit of their broken kiss. This did not bother him; he didn't want to be thinking of Scorpius's lips all evening. The distraction would be bound to make him spill his dinner all over himself.

"Oh, but he does," Scorpius insisted, as the pair of them made their way out of the Slytherin common room and into the hall. "It's because I'm a Malfoy. He hates Malfoys. Father's told me all about Longbottom. He was a constant punching bag back in the day, and now he's got to make up for it by punching me."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," said Albus. "Hasn't your dad apologized? Professor Longbottom's really nice. I'm sure he's forgiven your family by now."

"Says you," Scorpius replied darkly. He slipped his hand under Al's robe and pinched his side, causing Al to squeak and shove Scorpius away. Scorpius grinned at him. "Don't be too jumpy during the feast," Scorpius said. "You'll have me all to yourself afterward. I promise."

Al flushed a deep red and gulped. Still, he was grinning, and looking forward to the evening.

Dinner, however, was miserable. Not many students stayed at Hogwarts for the holiday, and Al was forced to sit beside Rose, who prattled on about Christmas the entire way through the meal. "And did you know that on Christmas Eve, the wood fairies come together to spread their magic through the trees, bringing each branch to life? If you're passing by a wood that night, you can hear them all singing."

"That's not true," Scorpius said loudly, his tone filled with scorn. "Don't you think there's enough magic in the world without you having to make things up?"

"Leave her alone," Lily, Al's sister, retorted, spewing crumbs from her mouth across the table at Scorpius. "I think it's nice to tell Christmas tales, true or not."

"You're only saying that because you hate Scorpius," Albus said, throwing his sister a dirty look. Lily was not quite as easy-going as Rose, who didn't care if she spent time with rivaling houses. Lily, being a much more staunch Gryffindor, glared back at her brother.

"Now, now," said Professor McGonagall, Hogwarts's headmistress and the head of the table. She had a glare that could beat even Lily's. "It is a holiday, and I expect you all to behave with the good cheer befitting such an occasion. However, I will not tolerate rowdiness, and I will not tolerate argument. We shall have a nice, respectful feast."

"Arguments to be saved for after-dinner parties," Neville Longbottom added under his breath, with a wink directed at Albus.

Scorpius scowled and "humph"-ed under his breath, slinking down low in his seat and fixing Al with a piercing stare. Al raised his eyebrows, and Scorpius slowly smiled at him, his eyes smoldering. Albus swallowed his juice quickly and began to cough, his throat burning. It was going to be a long night.

After dinner, Al and Scorpius darted into the first empty classroom they could find. Scorpius immediately pushed Albus up against the door and began to kiss him, his hands sliding into Al's dress robes. "Merlin," Al gasped between kisses, struggling to breathe. Scorpius was so warm and rough; Al was astounded that it had taken them this long to snog. How had they possibly even waited through dinner?

"Boys," Rose shouted, banging heavily on the door. Scorpius jumped back with a very loud swear and ruffled his hair angrily. "Are you in here, Al and Scorp?"

"For all the founders of Hogwarts," Scorpius spat, shaking his head. "How on earth did she find us?"

"Some kind of Christmas hex," Al replied, smoothing his robes down before he opened the door. "What is it, Rose?" He scowled at her.

"I only wanted to let you know that Professor Longbottom's given us butterbeers for the party! Isn't that wonderful?" Rose beamed, and Al clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to banish his cousin to the other end of the universe.

"Merlin, grant us peace," Al heard Scorpius whispering behind him. "Before there is a murder in the castle tonight."

"Yeah, it's great, Rose," Al said tiredly. "Could you please just give us a little time alone now? I promise you'll see us at the party later."

"Oh, all right." She frowned at him. "You know, I do understand the importance of studying, Al, but you'd think you could at least lighten up for Christmas." She shook her head and walked away.

Al closed the door and leaned heavily upon it with a sigh. "I swear, I can't possibly be related to her," he said.

"Never mind that," Scorpius replied, smirking as he came in closer. "Where were we?"

Al leaned in to kiss him again, and was almost immediately jolted forward by Rose body-slamming the door back open. "Oh, I almost forgot," she said casually, poking her head into the room. "The Gryffindor password's changed, it's Yule Log. Don't want you two being stuck out in the hall all evening!"

"No, because then we might actually get a moment to ourselves," Scorpius said sarcastically. He was so angry Albus could almost see a trail of steam coming off his forehead.

"Very funny, Scorpius. See you later!" Rose grinned and winked at them, then disappeared.

"A third try?" Albus offered weakly, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm not in the mood anymore," Scorpius replied with a huff. "Bloody Christmas cheer, bloody Gryffindors."

"You see, this is why I'm in Slytherin," Al said. "All those years wondering, and the truth is finally clear to me."

"You couldn't possibly have been oblivious to that," Scorpius replied, gesturing towards the door. Al stared at it, half expecting Rose to come bursting back through. "She's like this all the time, it's maddening. I've no idea why we're even friends."

"No, you don't really mean all that," Al said, jostling Scorpius's arm. "Rose is all right most of the time. It's only Christmas that brings the madwoman out of her."

Scorpius shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I suppose," he said gruffly. "Well, we'd best be getting back to our dorm. Have to collect ourselves for this thing sooner or later."

"It'll be all right," Al assured him, as they stepped back out into the hall. "Just an hour or two, and we'll be back down in Slytherin house in no time, just the two of us."

Scorpius smiled and slung an arm over Al's shoulders. "I shall be looking forward to it all evening," he said grandly. "You've no idea what I'm going to do to you once this party's over."

Al swallowed hard, feeling his face flush a burning red. He'd never been so nervous and so excited in all his life. And he only needed to get through Rose's Christmas party to have the best night of his life. If he ever got through it.

Al hurried to wash his face and hands, and was about to change his robes when Scorpius stopped him. "You wouldn't want to take away my only joy of the day, would you? You just look so smashing in those dress robes."

"Cut it out, Malfoy," Albus grumbled, loosening his tie.

"Well, well, would you look at the time." Scorpius pulled on Al's arm. "We wouldn't want to be tardy, would we?"

"I thought you didn't want to go to Rose's party," Al said, narrowing his eyes.

"The sooner we get there, the sooner we can leave," Scorpius replied. Albus laughed and followed him out the door.

They approached the Fat Lady with caution, sneaking around the corners holding hands and watching for any passing students or teachers. Not that Albus worried about being seen holding hands with Scorpius, but there was a rule about displaying one's affections in the corridors. And okay, perhaps he was a little nervous about being seen. Not many Hogwarts students showed a preference for the same sex, or flouted the fact if they did. Still, there was something about Scorpius that made Al feel safe. Though they would wait before telling anyone, just to gather themselves and gauge a reaction beforehand. Rose had been best friends with Al and Scorp since their first year at school together; it wouldn't have been right to thrust their new relationship on her so abruptly.

"We should have a code word," Scorpius decided with a nod, just before they entered the portrait hole. "If I say Basilisk, we're leaving immediately."

Albus grinned at him. "All right, but do you have to pick such a dark code word? Why can't we say Cauldron Cake or something?"

"Cauldron Cakes make me ill, and you know it," Scorpius said. "I'm trying to avoid being sick, you see. There's enough of that here already." He grinned and turned to the portrait before them. "Yule Log, please, and make it quick, we are in a dreadful hurry."

The Fat Lady gave a start. "Well, I never," she said, in a tone of great offense. "You know, before your time, no Slytherin would have ever been allowed in Gryffindor house. You should be grateful I'm letting you in at all!"

"House rivalry is so tiresome," said Scorpius, and the Fat Lady glared at him before swinging her frame open to let them into the tower.

The boys were met immediately by the hostess herself, who was grinning from ear to ear as she spread her arms wide before them. "Welcome!" Rose ruffled Al's hair and reached out for Scorpius, who pulled a face but reluctantly allowed her to hug him. "Help yourselves to a treat, and check out the beautiful Christmas tree I've set up! You know, they say touching the trunk of a Christmas tree will bring you luck."

"I doubt it will grant me the sort of luck I'm wishing for," Scorpius said in a sweetly-sarcastic tone. Rose stuck her tongue out at him.

"You'd think she was the one named for Aunt Luna," Lily said with a smirk. Al's sister was sipping a butterbeer by the fireplace. She'd put on a little red Christmas hat since dinner, and smiled when Al gave it an odd look. "What? I'm being festive." He kept staring. "All right, Rose made me wear it. But it is cute, isn't it?" She tugged lightly on the end of it.

"Yes, it's adorable, if you're into vomiting," said Scorpius.

"I wasn't talking to you," Lily said caustically. "I keep telling Rose not to invite you at all. You have no decency whatsoever."

"Scorpius is my friend," Al said, feeling sick again. "You really should accept that, Lil."

Lily sighed and looked away. "Sorry, Al."

"Hey, why the sour faces?" Rose came over and threw an arm over each of the boys. "Smile, won't you? Please play nice, it is Christmas. Look, Grandma's given me her favorite Christmas music to play, won't that be fun to hear? Let me just go put this on."

"Oh, no," said Albus, with a hand over his eyes. "It's Celestina Warbeck again."

"Just when you thought you'd reached the threshold of pain," said Scorpius. He put his hand on Al's back and leaned in close. "Let's just sneak away now, while we still can. All right, Basilisk?"

"If you're sure you don't want any Cauldron Cakes," Al replied, with a little grin. They moved away, inching slowly towards the exit, hoping to escape while Rose was occupied in trying to figure out the music.

"Almost there," Scorpius whispered, as the strains of some horribly ancient holiday song filled the air around them. "Just a bit farther now."

"Christmas cards!" Rose shouted, tossing a handful of brightly-colored envelopes into the air. Both Albus and Scorpius leaped into the air, spinning about with nervously innocent smiles on their faces. Scorpius was hit in the face with the corner of a particularly sharp envelope, wincing as he glared over at Rose. "Everyone find your name and open up!" Rose was still grinning over at her friends. "How did you two get so far away all of a sudden?"

"I've no idea," Scorpius said dryly.

"Rose, what is all this, anyway?" Al asked, bending over to examine the scattered mail all over the floor.

"Why didn't we just get these with our presents in the morning?" Scorpius asked, lifting the edge of a card with two fingers as though it were a Howler, held out as far away from his body as possible.

"Because it's more fun to open them when we're all together, of course," Rose said with an air of superiority.

"What's this, then?" Al asked, having found his own card and staring bewilderingly at the writing on the front. "This is James's handwriting."

"Open it and find out," Rose sang, tapping his shoulder as she frolicked past.

"I swear, she's really gone mental this year," Scorpius said, reluctantly opening his Christmas card. "Has somebody slipped her a Potion of Bewilderment or something?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," Al replied darkly, reading his card. "Lily, why is James sending me this?"

"Why, what's it say?" Lily stuck her head in front of her brother to read the handwriting inside.

Al yanked the card away and shoved Lily out of his face. "I can read it." He looked at Scorpius. "Sisters."

"You asked me a question," Lily snapped. "Don't make me hex you at Rose's Christmas party."

"Dear Al," Albus read, loudly and pointedly. "Thanks for all the fun, see you after hols. Don't do anything I wouldn't do, which is nothing at all, so do everything. Stop being a idiot, snatch him up while you still can, you plucky little queer. With love, your Jamesie." He narrowed his eyes at Lily. "Why is everyone conspiring to treat me like absolute shit this holiday?"

Lily had started giggling madly somewhere around "snatch him up." "He's such an arse," she said happily. "I'm glad I didn't get a Christmas card like that from James."

"Oh, here's yours, Lily," Rose said, handing the girl a card. Lily's giggles dissolved into nervous chuckles as she contemplated it.

"But why isn't James here to tell me this stupid shit himself?" Al demanded, looking around as though his brother could pop out at him at any moment.

"Because," said Lily, as she struggled to open her envelope, "James is in France with Teddy." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, winked at him, and flounced away with a fresh set of giggles.

"Fucking hypocrite," said Albus, tossing his card into the nearby wastebasket.

"I don't know, I think he's given you some sound advice," Scorpius said, sidling up very close to Albus, so that their sides were touching. "Snatch him up while you can. Yes, I'd say you'd better get to snatching, because I'm not going to be waiting around this miserable party forever."

"Er," said Albus, suddenly flustered again. "Yes. That's quite a good idea, actually."

"Why am I so attracted to your awkward stuttering?" Scorpius asked with a grin. "I think it has to be those spiffing dress robes. You've never looked fancier, I'd say."

"Okay, I really need to take these off," Al said, tugging at the robes he hated so violently.

"My thoughts exactly," Scorpius whispered, and Al felt a hot rush of excitement bolt straight down to his groin.

"Who wants butterbeer?" Rose asked, once again thrusting herself between the two boys, holding two bottles of the aforementioned liquid out to them. "Stop lurking in the corner, you're being horribly insufferable. Come dance and have some drinks with me!"

"Rose, your Christmas cheer is making me want to drown myself in butterbeer," Scorpius said, his face very serious.

Rose laughed and pushed the bottle into his chest. "Try drinking it instead," she said.

"You really are incredible, you know that?" Scorpius asked, taking the drink and downing it quickly. "You ought to have gotten in some firewhiskey, which is a failure I shall be crying over until my dying day."

"I'm not entirely stupid, you know," Rose said to him. "I do know you're not exactly enjoying yourself. You don't have to dump the sarcasm over my head."

"I'd like the dump this drink over your head," Al muttered, and Scorpius laughed.

"Miss Weasley, for somebody so brilliant, you are being the thickest person I've ever met on this evening," Scorpius said. "Might you wish to think over the events of the day, and see if you might be missing something?"

Rose frowned and looked around the room, as though the answer could be found amongst the fairy lights and streamers. "But I was so sure I'd included it," she said quietly, almost to herself. "Where did it go?"

"What did what go?" Scorpius asked heavily, with an air of utter resignation.

Rose turned back to him with a cheeky grin. "Why, the mistletoe, of course," she said broadly.

Al and Scorpius stared at each other for a moment. "Mistletoe?" They asked together; Al felt his insides tremble, but Scorpius was smirking deviously.

Rose started laughing. "Oh, it's been so funny watching the two of you hate me all day," she said, "but I just can't torture you anymore, it's too much. I don't want any murders at my Christmas party."

"You mean you knew the whole time?" Al asked incredulously.

Rose put on a look of innocence. "Knew what?" She turned away from them. "There's more butterbeer over on the far table," she called over her shoulder, as she began to move away. "The very, very far table. You'll know it when you see it."

Scorpius was grinning harder than Albus had ever seen him grin. "You know," he said, "your cousin is a miraculous specimen. Let us seek this far table, shall we?"

"Okay," said Albus, with a nervous little grin. "Let's."

It didn't take long at all for them to find it, the darkened corner with the sprig of mistletoe hanging over a little table with two bottles of butterbeer sitting on it. Scorpius grabbed Al's hand and dragged him over to it, holding him firmly in place directly underneath the festive plant. "Who knew some Christmas traditions could be so perfect?" Scorpius said with a grin, leaning in towards Albus.

"You see, Rose's Christmas parties aren't all bad, after all," Al replied, smiling back before their lips met in a searing kiss.

"Happy Christmas, boys!" Rose yelled from across the room. There was a burst of noise as more party goers arrived, and Rose began singing loudly and out of tune to Celestina Warbeck. But Scorpius and Albus were too preoccupied with their own little holiday celebration to notice anything but each other. It was Rose's best holiday party yet.